Lagos Fashion Police at the Headies 2011 (Part 1)

Hey guys, as you all requested, we have brought you the Headies review...

Hmmmm..... Enjoy!!!!!!!

Tiny:  There's something off bout this dress on Tiwa, either is not her size or it's not properly designed for her body structure. The front tells it all. I do like the design though, real simple and classy but on Tiwa's body... Hmmm, Tiny aint feeling it. Besides who came up with the brides theme for the Headies though? Hmm

Toya: Sexy Tiwa, this is a white hot mess. Why does your dress look like you wrapped a bedsheet around yourself? The dress is so ill fitted from the front! It does not sit well babes. Better luck next time doll. I think I saw u getting the highlights in your hair at nail studio. Totally loving it!

Tiny: Miss model, this is a nice dress, works really well for your skin tone plus its award worthy but why do you look so old? You're pretty young to be looking older than your age and please stop with that pose, you were seconds away from getting it right but you had to ruin it. Also do you wear that ring everywhere??

Toya: Cute dress but bad almost scraggy shoes! And Kendra you look like the Joker from Batman, plus all that hair is not helping one bit. Please if this was an attempt at a smile for the cameras, darling don't try it ever again.

Tiny: WOW! I have to say Sasha is doing much better on the red carpet these days. I absolutely love the blend of purple and gold. The detail on the waist angle of the dress is amazing. Makeup is flawless! Go Sasha, LFP certifies this, you're in the good book now

Toya: Thank God oh, sasha has changed her life for the better! I love the gold and purple combo. Very grown and sexy. And nice hairstyle choice. Yeah Tiny she is definately certified.

Tiny: Errm Miss Lady Azuka, what in the hell do you have on? You look like a teen going for a 13 year old birthday and we all know you aint no teen, you are a zillion years far from that. You are already dark skinned, why are you drowning yourself in black now? Some colour would do you some good and brighter makeup. Those wedges are so not for you or that outfit and please get something done to that hair, Ekaite the maid does much better.

Toya: What is with this ghetto ensemble, you look like you tumbled out of Brooklyn babe. Shiny shiny babe, you must be under the impression that you have done well? Wetin! Who could have advised you to go for this atroscity. All I can say is God have mercy on us the viewing public. Please everyone, put on your protective eye-wear.
Aunty give Azuka cake cos she is definately blinging.

Toya: Tiny V, can I just say I am quite irritated with the fact that every guy now feels the need to do a Mai Atafo. Please oh, can all of you make sure u can pull off the blazer, skinny cotton pants and loafers look. To be honest even the look doesn't suit Atafo all the time or he has over done it I don't even know. All I know please give it a rest.

Tiny: Hahaha Toya, I'm so with you on that. But you gotta love the look on Mai, suits him so damn well. This dude just went totally and completely off. The pink is real nice but he should have unbuttoned it and secondly those pants are jumping!!! Damn!!! This is not a good look Mr, I'm sorry

Tiny: Sexy- NOT- Steel.... What in Jehovah's name do you have on? No seriously, let's talk about this. Are you trying to pull a Mai Atafo and Dayo Ephraim at the same time? But wait sef, what goes on in that head of yours when you're getting dressed for an event? Everything is completely off. Or could it be that you are trying to come up with your own signature look?? Because if you are then you have FAILED!


Toya: Sexy steel also foolishly trying to do a MAI. Bad idea nigga! Why do your pants have inbuilt hips? Ewwwwww what do u have on your feet? Going to puke now. Tiny please hold up my hair!

Toya: Can you say effortlessly chic. I love love her fun simplistic outfit. Great colour blocking and matched nicely with the leopard skin shoes. LFP certified hottie!

Tiny: Totally agree with you, the colour blend is so chic! The look on her face even says it all. I'm not a fan of that pose though coz you didn't get it, but apart from that, outfit is on point.

Tiny: Miss Phillips this is a complete BORING outfit. Why do you have that long skirt on? You look like a mother of 3 and I know you are a lil bit far from that. Your makeup is too plain and also BORING. I'm so not impressed

Toya: All I have to say about Ms Philips is ever since her  weight loss, her poses don pass Naomi Campbell own. Darling stop trying so hard!

Tiny: Reeta I don't know how you feel we think here in Nigeria but that is a BRA you have on missy and NO it is NOT fashionable. Ahn ahn! What is it sef?? I like the purple print skirt and the jacket, not so bad but it would have all worked out well it you had a bright colored tank top ontop of that BRA that you are exposing! Sweetie the Headies aint a strip club.

Toya: Jesus take the wheel! Ah! Please we are not stupid Reeta, we know what this is supposed to look like and you have failed woefully. You thought wearing your strapless bra and a stupid purple skirt makes you Rihanna? Ok I am going to ask our male fans...... Do you guys think this is sexy? Because I am confused.

Tiny: I think Jerry and Denrele would make a cute controversial couple.. Don't you Toya? Jerry being the chick in the relationship. I have nothing to say to this guy but I'm sure TB Joshua can help.

Toya: Jerry, are you mirroring Dracula or a tranny from Romania? Hahahahaaha, what is that wig like creature on your head? Lmaoooo,  we have to take him to mountain of fire after TBJ! 
Yes him and Denrele would be good together. Disgusting.

Tiny: Errr is this Goldie's sister? Lady what in the hell do you have on?? You look like Big birds wife and those shoes.... Damn girl, where did you get them from?? Na na na na! This is just wrong.

Toya: Is this a feather tutu? Or did u set out to look like an Ewu or an Ostrich? Why would anyone in their right mind want to add 3 kg to their hips intentionally? We know feathers are a hot trend but c'mon you can be respectable in the way you go about rocking trends. We at LFP do not appreciate insults in the name of avant garde! You have been warned!

Toya: This guy in the superman shirt must have just escaped from the Yaba crazies zone so let's allow him! Tiny... Thoughts?

Tiny: Hahaha, I agree.  I will not waste time here, dude obviously feels dressing like this would make people talk bout him. Everyone is dying to get to the top media list these days and in Lagos people will do anything or wear anything or nothing to be on that list.

Tiny: Jesse first of all, did you rub white powder on your face or do I blame the flash of the camera? Secondly that jacket you have on is so not fashionable... Ahn ahn, who told you to put on a wind breaker? I know its been raining a lot in Lagos and its been windy (when it rains) but C'mon son.... Tiny does not approve of this outfit.

Toya: Mr Jargo, it has come to my notice that you have somehow been getting away from LFP and I have caught you today. Why are u wearing a wind breaker in a windless hall? And why did u go crazy on the pears baby powder? And why do you have a huge hat on your head that is clearly being held up by your sunglasses? Stop confusing me jor.

Toya: Zaina, the spartan princess, you are such a pretty girl. Lovely smile too! However the skirt is a bit of a letdown, I look at it and think of roman soldiers! Your purse is another matter, very ancient and outdated. You need to come back to the present babe.

Tiny: Zania, so you came to Nigeria to show us what being in Gladiator feels like?? Your whole outfit makes me feel like I'm in the cast of Gladiators. I know you could have done so much better. Take a look at this picture again and send us a private message on how you feel bout your outfit.

Tiny: Lady in green, are you comfortable at all? Is quite obvious that you're sucking in that belly. How bout your boobs? Are they getting any air? They look quite quashed in.... *tut tut tut*.. Wrong move my dear. Who put you in this outfit? I want to speak to that person personally, you're too pretty to look this tacky. Oh Miss Kendra is almost striking a pose for your picture. Lol

Toya: What ever happened to wearing your size? I must say she has amazing breasts. Babe sha, the dress is almost bursting open at the boob ties or were u originally on your way to a playboy or vivid photoshoot and decided to see what was happening at Eko hotel? Oh I see, makes sense then. Carry on.




Sorry guys but this is all we can give you for the first part of this review. So many pictures and we want to make sure we cover a whole lot of people.


Thanks again to Bella Naija for the pictures.


Let us have your comments and suggestions. Follow us on Twitter @D_FashionPolice or send us a mail Lagosfashionpolice@gmail.com. Also join our Fanpage on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lagos-Fashion-Police/130970303672154


Part 2 of the Headies review by LFP will be out much later tonight or tomorrow morning.


*Smoochies* Tiny Vuitton and Toya Veneta




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Lagos Fashion Police at the Iceprince E.L.I album launch

Hey guys, we'd like to apologise for delivering this review late. We hope you all are still hyped about it.

Below is LFP's review of Iceprince Zamani's album launch..... E.L.I

Enjoy!!!!

Toya: The star of the night. Na wa oh. Which force were you supposed to be repping in this attire? Navy, Airforce or Masterchef? Anyways loved the music that night, intro was a bit too long but whatever. However, I am not quite certain how doing themed outfits for your album launch worked for you? Toya V says stick to sexy male tailoring next time! Some more Mai Atafo

Tiny: Iceprince Zamani, captain of the crew ship!!! I think ice is a cute sexy young man, appeals more to the youngies though. High school and first year uni chicks. They tend to dig the whole different pair of shoes style. I kinda thought the captain outfit was cool though, I didn't dig the 3 wise men outfit he had on later that night though... What was that dude?? Oh and one last thing... What in da hell are u doing to your hair?? You left some behind and dyed it gold.. It looks like a golden puff puff roll. Shave it off!!

Tiny: Mr Abaga well done, Tiny likes this. He actually looks really sharp and smart, like a boss but also it looks like a waiters outfit. I mean it all works to play if the theme was set on a boat. Iceprince the captain, Jesse Jagz the rap star (with his casual outfit for the night. Good job on the drums Jagz) and M.I the waiter... Just kidding, you look good Jude Abaga.

Toya: Mr incredible looks like a real gentleman. Well done hommie. This is such a classic look and works so well for him. My dad would definitely let you take me to the prom M.I. Toya is blinking rapidly at the moment.

Tiny: Damilola it is called an album launch, it was tagged a concert. Sexy yes but totally wrong for the occasion. I bet u kept on pulling your skirt down. I love your shoes. The outfit is just a bit too much for me. Too revealing

Toya: Madam tinsel. She has a certain appeal, that makes her weirdly attractive. However, this attire looks like something I wore in 2000 to one of those kc collaboration parties at Lagoon, I think one was called pandemonium. Dami, pls go get some more grown and sexy clothes and stop with the teenage mashups. Thank you.

Tiny: I don't know what to say about this guy. Really though. Coz where will I start from? What do I call him? What started this madness? These are questions only God can answer so I will not try but erm, dude just one thing o? How in da hell do you walk in those heels? Are they even heels?

Toya: I am not even going to bother with this one, infact u know what I will. Denrele, if you want to dress retarded, you can at least try to have different options. I feel he wears this same red and black atroscity all the time. This is not being unique, this is just plain stupid.

Toya: Jimmy jatt, shall we blame this on the age or what. Where were you under the impression you were heading to? ELI was not a baylesa high chief community meeting oh, this outfit is just wrong dude, WRONG! We respect that you are one of the pioneer nigerian djs but c'mon men, get some help if you don't know what to do after you take a shower.

Tiny: I totally admire Jimmy's djing skills but his dress sense makes me cringe. If you want to retire to dressing like an igbo trader then please boss, stop djing! I mean c'mon man! Look at what you got on! I respect you man but this your dress sense needs to be revamped ASAP.

Toya: Tiny, we are definately jinxing tonight, hahahahaha.

Tiny: Hahaha! These couple look like they lodged in Eko hotel for the night and the hubby goes *ha, let's check out what's happening downstairs'... I gotta comment on does slippers or flip flops or.... Wait, what are those? Lol

Toya: Mr Meshida, I know these shoes are eco friendly and they help with your feet circulation, blah blah blah. That does not give you the right to wear it to an event. I am certain even the inventor would not have worn it to an event. You look so silly, it is not even funny. Banke, you are a make up goddess, I am certain you could make Obasanjo look beautiful. How did u let hubby come out and pose for pictures with penguin feet? Not a good look.

Tiny: Hahaha. Toya you are more enlightened bout them than I am.. I bet its the usual feeling, they taught they could get away with it.

Tiny: First of all Tiwa, rocking the same shoes for your performance and for the show is just wrong. C'mon girl, aren't you supposed to be like a Diva or something? Live up to your name now, this aint funny at all. I love your performance outfit, you have amazing skin (if this picture isn't photo-shopped sha o). The other outfit I'm not a fan of. Thank God you are not rocking the same accessories.

Toya: The sexy Savage. I love the blue and yellow, so cute and flirty. Very appropriate for ELI. I think better shoes would have been in order or even some cute flat sandals. The other Beyonce like contraption hopefully was used on stage or maybe she was heading to fela's shrine, to give felabration proper headstart. Tiwa those shoes again. No!

Tiny: I love my Jazzy, I even have a cute sexy crush on him. Gosh! I must say this, if someone else had tried this his pyjama signature stunt, hmmm na curse dem go dey curse the person o. I guess with money you feel you can get away with anything. Jazzy boo I love you, I mean like I love you but C'mon son, why na? And the slippers. I get that you wanna feel comfy and people must know that you can get away with anything but its not bed time now? This looks like what you wore for the Oliver video sef. Hmmm booboo are we repeating with all the 'i can get away with anything stunt'?!! When its bed time imma holla at you ok..
And that girl taking the picture!!! Damn your armpits are Black! Please try Skinwhite Whitening deodorant! It gives u whiter under-arms in just 2 weeks!!

Toya: Don jazzy, I don't know oh, is it too much money or not enough brain cells that makes you literally stroll out of your bedroom in what looks like anankara pajama bottoms into Eko expo center all the time? I don't understand. Jazzy I don't find you funny men! You would never see Kanye west (mohits idol) or LA Reid roll out to an event looking like they just finished walking the dog. Dude take note. We don't like people playing on our fashion intelligence. At the groupie, if you have blackish underarms, get some other groupie to take the picture.

Toya: Hahahahahahhaahahhaahaha what a mess! Zara zara zara, you too dey fuck up. Kai this babe, you are definately the worst dresser of 2011 damn. What is this supposed to be? Were you on your way to a drug addict ballerina party? Perhaps?

Tiny: Ermmm Zara, its not Rag day. Tiny is telling you now that you need a personal stylist. I respect your hustle but this has nothing to do with music, your dreads are sexy but need proper styling. Try brighter colours and I don't mean over sabi colour blocking o.

Tiny: When I saw Vonne that night, I felt like her hair was reaching where I was and was about to enter my mouth.. Lol. Toyin looks real nice, who knew that letting lose would work for her. Vonne that your personal pose, Tiny disapproves, you look so muscular, like you're auditioning for Gladiators on tv. I do like your outfit though. The flats work with your clutch and leopard print skirt. That thing on your neck though, hmmm. I'm indifferent bout it. Over all, you both look ready to party.

Toya: This is the first time I like Vonne on the red carpet. She looks very relaxed I would say in her leopard print skirt. You go fear fierce posing, she kinda reminds me of Mufasa in lion king, Tyra has nothing on this one. But why are your toes on the carpet, were the sandals not our size darling? The other lady, I like your artsy top with the leggings, simple and nice!

Tiny:Naeto! Hmmm I do love the colour, looks amazing on you. Everything blends so well, the shades of puple with the inner shirt and wine shoes. Tasteful but I must say that those pants are so damn tight on you, haba. And then they look washed out, you ruined this look for me! That hair makes me feel like you're back in the 80's

Toya: Lmao. I can't stop laughing at this nigga. Pls oh what is with all this metro sexual dressing? Mr MC Msc, what is the bottom spectrum of the rainbow? Are those jeggings? Hahahahahahaha mogbe. And then u come add wine loafers. This style is not for everybody, infact it is not for anyone and don't be deceived by the people who told you you look fabulous because you don't. You look like a stupid ibo man that just found himself in Lagos. The pants were so tight that day, you could not even stand straight. Nigga get your mind right and snap out of this nonsense.

Toya: Munachi, you just had to go complicate matters. This a a simple black dress, you should have just stopped there or pick out something else preferably, why did u go add a scarf to the already present turtle neck? Are u a flight attendant? And then you now placed some weird beads on top again? What now? This dress is not nice on you at all, it doesn't balance out your proportions. You look so uncomfortable.

Tiny: Muna, you look pretty. That is without the weird looking scarf on a dress that obviously doesn't need it.... I mean let's face the fact here, you do look like a flight attendant and that dress is tight on you it obviously isn't your size. Black and red would have been so perfect.

Toya: What is wrong with the Mohits boys? All of a sudden D'banj is the only sane dresser. D prince are you about to fly somewhere lol. What are you wearing na? This is another skinny pants and loafers attempt gone wrong oh, this one now adds a sleeveless jumper hoodie thing. This is just silly. I see your sex appeal dropping to dangerously low levels man! If my hubby comes home looking like this, I think this could be grounds for divorce.

Tiny: The Prince is here! Nigga you look like you're bout to shoot a ball..... Na na, you look like you're bout to catch the ball from your team mate and shoot. Complete outfit was so not necessary!

Tiny: Jennifer Jennifer, both outfits look amazing. Damn this lady is doing so much better than the girls you would expect to excel in this. Where's Tiwa Savage? Take a cue from Funke Akindele, thou shall not repeat any item at the same venue/occasion! Now that's how it should be done. The black dress with the sequence and see thru in the boob area is just amazing but doesn't really pop out well coz she's a lady with black skin tone wearing a black dress, the brightness of the room where this picture was taken doesn't help either, could be no flash as well but all in all, good job Funke.

Toya: Jeni4, I have never seen anyone look bigger in black, wonderful. That black dress looks so local and somehow makes Funke look dirty and dusty like she needs a shower. On the other hand, the white dress fits really well and possesses some star quality. She looks pretty and slimmer in the one shoulder piece. Angel definitely beat the devil here.




Well guys, that is all we have for the E.L.I review. We apologize once again for the delay in delivery. 


We do hope you enjoy this, as usual your comments and personal reviews are very much welcome. As you can see, we both do not agree all the time. Be sure to follow us on twitter @D_FashionPolice or send us an email to Lagosfashionpolice@gmail.com


We'll be back tomorrow or next with a fresh new review for you guys. 


Its still your favorite official Lagos Fashion Police ladies.


Love Tiny Vuitton and Toya Veneta.

Lagos Fashion Police at The 2011 MTN Project Fame West Africa Gala

Hey guys, its your favourite fashion police crew here and we are back with amazing reviews for you.

This time around we were at the Mtn Project Fame Gala which took place at Eko Hotel a few days ago.

Enjoy!!

Tiny; Dencia is her name. Look familiar? Hahahaha

Toya; This is the alien from the NEAs! Please who allowed her into Lagos? This isn't funny, this is an extra terrestial plan to body snatch Lagosians. She came to lay her alien eggs, someone please call pest control, let's capture this creature quick. What is with the weirdly angular shoulders?

Tiny; She looks like Nneka the pretty serpent with that hair and look on her face... The outfit looks like she's in a work out video.. And those boots, lord save me from those boots.. I feel like I'm watching a 90's musical video by Junior and Pretty

Toya; Hahahahahha Tiny if Dencia no kill me I no go die again.

Toya; This would have to be the first time I have actually liked Sasha P on the red carpet. This vibrant one shoulder dress suits her nicely and I love the length of it, good for hiding hideous legs. #Justsaying. However she could do with a more fitting version, the dress seems a bit loose.

Tiny; I think I prefer it loose on her, considering how Sasha looks when she puts on a tight outfit. The dress is real nice and classy in its own way. Sasha I suggest you stick to this look. Your blush however looks a bit too much.

Toya; All I can say is are we supposed to be watching reruns of sesame street cos this skirt invokes memories of big bird. Her hair always on point though.

Tiny; Yayyy its Big bird from Sesame street!!
Ok Miss Makinwa, the only thing I approve of is your tank top!!! What were u thinking when you had that skirt made? And it's yellow..... On a yellow carpet!!! Can u say jaundice?!!
Like Toya said, your hair always looks nice. Good job with that.

Toya: She is so cute. Love the pink skirt and her champagne lace top, lace is so hot this season. For some reason her teal shoes work to hold it all together. Nice. Certified LFP Cutie. Please wo you marry my brother?

Tiny; The teal shoes most definitely blend with the pink and champagne colour. I'm not a fan of the hair style but it suits her so well... Haha @ marry your brother.

Tiny; Miss Yvonne, first of all, you are not in high school, what's with the top?? I believe you are way too mature for that.. Secondly how many times do we have to say that the cross leg pose isn't for everyone? Your hair is nice and I'm so happy you didn't put the whole case of brown power on your face this time around coz you look better with your skin tone. Those shoes do not belong underneath those pants.. Damn, I could go on and on. This outfit is an Epic fail

Toya; Hahahahaahahhahaha I can't stop laughing at this outfit. Errm Yvonne, I know u pride yourself on being fashionable but this is just a joke. You look like a transvestite. Not a good look babe. I know u can do better because you have in the past. Welldone on the flat belly tho.

Tiny; Someone please crop her head off... Hair to neck is a zero!!! Damn! Who invented Lace wig?? This is definitely Nneka the pretty serpents sister. Way too casual for the event

Toya; Mountain of fire please pray for us. Tiny, what is with people not using the right powder for their skintones? This one looks like she came with POP on. And that horribly placed miranda orange front lace wig, yuk! See how she pulled her skirt so high up her waist to make up for the inadequancy of her jumper. This babe you no dey try. Whoever the hell you are. Pls can someone find and shoot the front lace wig inventer.

Toya; This is a scarecrow wearing a dress for sure. Why na? This one would soon say she is nigeria's next top model. You know you are straight, so why on earth would you think this is the dress for you? Hisss, your shoes are equally fucked up. I'm done and very upset.

Tiny; For the love of God, what is going on in Lagos?? Jehovah please intervene in this matter. Here we go with the leg pose again. Who designed this dress and put her in it? This is a disaster in all forms, where do I start from? The hideous neckline, the shoulders or the chest area? From the outfit to the person wearing it.. everything is a massive fail!!!

Toya; And please oh, note to all, before you shavedv your head, make sure you are cute. See the teacher in Wizkid's hola at your boy video.

Toya; What an odd couple. My danjuma, you need to realise you are no longer a young man, please Mai Atafo help this elder out. This mix of purple and green curtain is just horrible together with the brown pants. This just tells me you are rich and have no idea what to do with the money. Caroline, you are such a pretty girl but this dress is almost disgusting on you. The punky print and the larger crop circles in the middle, nah babe. Both of you messed up big time and we at LFP are not amused!

Tiny; Dude definetly has a curtain on for a jacket.. She's so pretty, yet awfully dressed.. This is a confused bunch right here. Look at her legs, does she have socks on? Please tell me she doesn't, and the shoes.. Lord!

Tiny; Where were you really going? To the market to buy provisions?? Look at your jeans, way to loose, you would look so damn good in skinnies. And then your shoes.. Really though, were u going to buy provisions?? Infact, your hat makes it obvious that u were going to buy provisions and just happened to stroll past Eko hotel

Toya; It has come to my attention that this chic thinks the only place she should look good is in fashion shoots and then in her real life she thinks she is somehow allowed to be mess up? What could have sparked this misconception, Moka? Are you indiana jones, what is with the stupid hat? And is it just me or does she have horrible taste in shoes. She always wears crappy shoes?

Tiny; Whoop whoop! Its Bonnie & Clyde on the yellow carpet... Who let the dogs out??? Lmaooo, I can't get enough of these 2. Her whole outfit is just.... Is the word 'wrong' good enough. She was not a dancer coz I was there and I didn't see no one dressed like this on stage... Toya over to you love coz I can't, not anymore.. Hahaha

Toya; Hoodrat alert! Wetin be this. Nasty red lacy tights, knee length boots in Lagos? What gets me is this chic is feeling gangster right about now. Ademola Alakija Street is calling oh. Wicked dude, you could not advice this babe to go home and change? I doubt these 2 are from Nigeria. They must be Liberian imports.

Ok guys, we are done with this review. As usual, your comments and suggestions are very much welcomed.

If  you want t reach u pivately, please send us a direct email to Lagosfashionpolice@gmail.com

You can aso reach us on twitter @D_FashionPolice. Follow us and be sure to get a follow back from us so you can send us direct messages when you want to.

*Smoochies* guys. Love Tiny V and Toya V